For most of us, being happy means doing the things you love. It involves being truthful and making priorities for the things you’re passionate about. What that means is different for each and every one of us. For me, I love being in nature, I love to journal, I love feeling “put together”, I can’t live without music, and I love to sleep. I not only love doing these things, but I also need them. When I get flaky with my self-care routine, it has an immediate impact on my state of mind, so consistency in self-love and self-care is vital here. 

Self-love

Practicing self-love will change your world. It attracts such beautiful energy and provides you with positive manifestations that will enter your life. You will notice that your dreams are becoming a reality. But what if you do not consciously engage in self-love? And you continue and accept the life you have right now. What will be the outcome then? Is your current situation what you want for the rest of your life? If yes, then super! However I’m assuming, though there are aspects of your life that you truly treasure, more so there are also aspects that you’d love to change.

For me, I know I want to feel good consistently, no matter what is happening around me. I know I need to be grounded enough to stay aligned despite what external events take place around me. Of course Yin & Yang are both important in order to maintain balance, meaning that adverse incidents are also necessary, but the key is bouncing back. To learn, grow and move forward as a more well-rounded, refined version of myself. Growth derives from learning to look at incidents or events as lessons, and with a sense of understanding and compassion for yourself, others and the situation. This higher sense of self derives from awareness, insight and being balanced which cannot be accessed when we are in auto-pilot and numb.

Because of the world we live in, now more than ever, it is easy to be(come) unaligned and unhappy. So, how attainable is true happiness to you? Let’s find out what makes you happy and what makes you smile, along with when you feel grateful and/or at ease. Do you enjoy the sound of the rain? Do you love sunbeams touching your skin? Or when the wind plays with your hair? Does music make you smile? What do you associate with positive sensations from your past or present? What makes you feel HAPPY? Try to think about small positives, and meaningful events and make a list. If you’re finding that these thoughts aren’t coming to you naturally, try to write a gratitude list and think of five things that you are grateful for at this very moment. Keep at it – do this forever… kidding – try it for at least one week, and you will find that your list will grow each time, and you will begin to notice more of the smaller things that contribute to your happiness. 

Self-care

Now that we know what makes us happy, the things that really trigger us to be happy, we can honour ourselves and practice self-love. How? You ask – one way to do this is by showing yourself the same kindness and attention that you would give to a loved one, and create a self-care routine that is specifically designed to suit your very own needs. But, who has the time for this? Right? Because life is already so hectic. At least my life is. Well, it’s as simple this: is being happy important to you? Why not make yourself a priority and set the tone of your day every day, by starting your morning with a loving self-care routine? Not only will this practice set the mood, you will certainly notice the difference in your energy throughout the day. Think about it – why wouldn’t you start your day a little earlier or a little differently just to invest lovingly in yourself and the quality of your life? 

My morning routine

So, to provide you with an example of what my very own morning routine looks like:

• My alarm goes off at 5 or 6 am.
• I start by meditating for 10-15 minutes.
• Following this, I write my intentions and make a new gratitude list for the day. This task is super important to help recognise how much you already have to be grateful for, and this sense of gratitude will help set the tone for the day. 
• This leads to a 30-minute walk. I use this time to let go of less important clutter in my mind. These can be negative thoughts, insecurities about an important meeting, or any other fears. During my walk, sometimes I listen to podcasts, positive music, or meditations. Nature taught me that everything is constantly changing, and that change is beautiful. Here in the Netherlands, we have seasons. So, the plants and trees on my hiking trail are continually evolving; they bloom, they grow taller, sometimes, they are wet, sometimes they sparkle because of all the sunlight but one thing is constant: nature always, always helps to ground me.
• After my walk, I really do “start” my day at a slow pace – I shower, engage in my skincare routine, fix my hair and get myself “presentable”. 
• Next up is food! In our house, a great breakfast is key. I take 15 minutes just to create something happy, like a delicious smoothie bowl or nutritious oats with fresh fruits. I do this whilst listening and dancing to music.
• Now it is time to wake up my daughter to have breakfast and get her ready for school without rushing. 

Done. 

I did all the things I love in the morning, my mood is crazy happy, and I’m singing whilst driving/ cycling or walking my daughter to school. Having a morning routine has changed my life, and I’m sure it will change yours too, for the better. Of course, some days it’s harder to do all these things because you are tired or not in a good mood. During these times, what motivates me is the thought of feeling proud of myself. Proud of loving myself enough because I allow myself true peace and joy, and I choose to work on it every single day.

Develop your own morning routine

Develop a list of small, attainable tasks or things that bring you peace, joy, or make you feel happy. Be it food, music, the great outdoors, a lie-in, sipping on a warm cup of tea, a cold shower, or reading a book in the sunshine or wrapped in your cosiest blanket. Once you have your list – choose 3-5 of your most favourite and allocate a realistic amount of time aside for each and create your own self-love morning routine. It really is that simple. But consistency is everything, and it’s also the most challenging part. There will always be a reason not to start something new, but try to focus on all of the reasons for why you should. Every morning routine starts the evening before so make sure you go to bed on time in order to feel rested, upon waking up extra early.

Of course, the first few days may be a little challenging whilst adjusting to this new practice and pace. Be kind to yourself during this transitional phase whilst learning and growing. Give your routine at least 30 days –  your system requires at least 21 days to create a new habit, and you will notice that gradually, each morning will naturally come with a sense of ease and joy – without you having to force it. A great morning routine will increase your energy and help you vibrate at a higher frequency. Some of the benefits include:

• Increased energy
• Short-term stress reduction
• Strong feelings of being in control
• Motivation to create more healthy habits
• Improved relationships with others and more importantly with yourself

Good luck with creating more happiness for yourself!

Charmaine Pourier

Charmaine is a self-love philosopher, a single mom and an advocate for self-love and self-care. Through her own experiences in life, she has encountered unique and life-changing insights, which she continues to develop through her own sense of curiosity and creativity. Charmaine aspires to inspire and guide people, women especially, to focus and increase their own unique (feminine) energy and to become more aligned with their true purpose and passions. Her advice is to keep drinking out of the pool of self-love. Once you stop, you will get dehydrated and lose the abundance of your beautiful energy within your own spirit. To find out more or to join Charmaine’s journey, find her on Instagram.