to Woke Souls,
I hope at this incredibly bizarre time, that you are keeping well, and that you are able to find joy in the smaller, and much of the time, more important things, whilst our planet undergoes some much needed rest, restoration, and replenishment (as do we). Like many of those that I am in correspondence with at this time, I have been experiencing an ever-changing wave of emotions, bouncing between highs and lows, excitement and despair, motivation, and apathy, and rest and restlessness.
This constant circulation of varying energies has led me to take a moment or two to engage in stillness, and tune inwards, so today, on the verge of a brand new week, and on the eve of World Ego Awareness Day, I’d like to share with you, some of the thoughts, concepts, and ideas that have arose for me. My ‘Global Slowing Down’ journey began fairly optimistic, relaxed, and nonchalant, due to there not being too much that was looking to change for me personally, for the foreseeable future.
Sure, I wasn’t overly excited about not being able to spend time with family and friends, devour Zhonghua’s tofu & kimchi dumplings (check them out on Tripadvisor), or immerse in the soothing waters of the David Lloyd spa; and yes it had taken me months to fiiiiinally find the perfect balance between yoga classes at Satyam, and resistance training at DL, and I was just starting to reap the rewards, might I add. But in all honesty although I’d place myself as an ambivert, I’d almost certainly lean more toward the introverted side of the scale.
Lack of time
A night-in during the week? Cool. A weekend composed of strolls by the river, stirring up various concoctions in the kitchen, and practicing qigong? Sweet. Absolutely no resistance to any of that whatsoever. As of late, I am extremely fortunate in that the schedule for most of my days has been, and is, determined by what I’d like to do, as opposed to what I have to, or need to do. Here’s the thing though, most of us feel as though we are strapped for time almost constantly, no matter how open, or full our schedules are.
Twenty-four hours really doesn’t feel like very much time if you are someone, like myself, who tries to cram as much as you can into those hours. By the time I’ve ticked off the things that I feel I should do (meditate, exercise in more than one way ideally, thoughtfully and mindfully prepare a fresh and nutritious breakfast, lunch, and dinner, read a chapter or two, carry out some basic life admin, the list goes on…), half the day has already passed. Add to that another 4-6 hours for work/ admin/ brainstorming/ projects, or whatever it is that you dabble in, and the day has begun drawing to a close.
That’s our everyday ‘basics’ covered, so then some of us may feel as though we’d like to engage in a little more: learn a dance routine perhaps, paint a shell maybe, prepare a batch of homemade granola, repot our plants, or give those Monstera leaves a dust. We may have a Facetime, or series of catch-ups scheduled in for pre, or post dinner, we may want to give back in some way: engage in some community or charity work, plan a series of selfless deeds to bring a little joy to those around us, or simply just have a sit-down.
Lost time
Before we know it, our days, weeks, and months have flown by, and we feel as though we haven’t done, achieved, or accomplished anything, despite all that we have done, somebody on our instagram, WhatsApp group or Facetime call shares their engagement in a series of things that we haven’t yet, or won’t ever engage in. Instead of acknowledging, accepting, and being okay with this, most of us will compare, judge, and/ or criticise ourselves for having not done more, or better.
The thing about this, is that maybe it wouldn’t be so much of an issue if we actually felt as though we were getting something right. Maybe if we felt rested, we wouldn’t mind so much that we weren’t accomplishing as much, or perhaps if we felt that we were achieving all of our (unrealistically set) goals, that we would be more willing to sacrifice the rest. It seems to me that the main issue is that we are excelling at neither. I am genuinely grateful for this ‘extra’ time that I have inherited, and there’s so much I’d like to do with it, the FOMO that I have been experiencing is real, especially as there are so many individuals, businesses, and brands sharing some truly fantastic classes, workshops, and initiatives right now.
However, in all this goal-orientated, and results-driven decision-making, somewhere along the line, have our engagements, tasks and activities started to feel a little dull? Have we misplaced the urge to just be. Unapologetically, shamelessly, and without guilt, just be. Even with all this extra time, and nowhere to necessarily be, have we become so distracted, obsessed with goals, to-do lists, and all-consumed by our ‘monkey-minds’ that a part of us has forgotten what it’s like to actually be in our bodies, to be present, and more importantly, to feel alive?
Taking time
I came to realise that part of the reason I was looking forward to being at home for a period of time was that I felt maybe this would be an opportunity to get ahead of the game. I felt that this ‘extra’ time would allow me to shed a few pounds, work my way through the life admin tasks, initiate some selfless acts of kindness, learn a few dance routines, teach myself how to roller-skate/ rollerblade, organise the recipes in my books, and give some of them a go, produce heaps of content for to Woke Souls, start a podcast, exfoliate and apply a conditioning hair mask every week, watch my all-time favourite cartoons from my childhood, and have 2-3 days of ‘nothing’ each week, so on and so forth.
In reality however, for long periods of time, although trying to remain positive and hopeful on the surface, I found myself navigating my way through an all-time high of anxiety, pressure, restlessness, insomnia, and worst of all, despair. It was time to pause, tune inwards, and reassess what was going on for me. Why was this pressure arising? And where did it derive from? Although we tend to feel as though we are in control of the decisions behind our actions, many of us are much more porous than we tend to realise, with constant stimulation, we are continuously generating thoughts, picking up on, and soaking in external energies, and in both the short and long run, interruptions really are a destruction of the imagination, thus our creativity, and in some cases, existence.
We are faced with contradicting messages almost constantly, which have a strong influence over how we feel, think, and operate, it’s no secret that with the increase in the use of social media, these platforms play a critical role in this. We find ourselves playing along to a set of rules that we don’t necessarily understand, nor do we particularly care about, yet we feel as though we somehow must follow or abide by them. We are shown that we should all drive Lamborghinis, but that we also should live more sustainably, and invest in an electric bike, we are conditioned to believe that we should be millionaires, but also that we should be philanthropists, who donate, and participate in X hours of community work.
We are surrounded by mixed messages, and with this, an increasing amount of pressure; therefore we need to somehow break away from the story of how we should be living our lives, free ourselves from societal narratives, be honest about what we actually want, and most importantly: ask why we want what we want. Having just navigated my way through this conundrum, I would like to share five key takeaways from my experience. These are the things that have helped me to pause, ground, tune in with myself, and, in turn allowed me to go about my days more mindfully, with awareness, and at a slower, more reflective pace.
Form a Bucket List
Consider all that you desire in life, with the following in mind – I would like to: achieve, have, feel, experience, be, relate and create. This has helped me to cut through the noise, and really focus my efforts, and energy on the tasks, projects, people and things that matter to me the most. It’s really a great way to keep track of all of the things you’d like to experience however large or small (whether it be reading a certain book, travelling to a specific destination, or starting a business).
Pause & Reassess
Although there is a lot of pain, loss, discomfort, and fear at this time, on the most part, many of us have the potential to take some time to evaluate the quality of lives, and to re-assess where we are at. What is a priority? What no longer serves your higher purpose? What is a limiting factor/ holding you back? What no longer sparks joy for you? What do you no longer want to take with you moving forward? This also goes for your ‘digital circle’ too, do the people that you follow inspire you, bring you joy, or motivate you? Or is it quite the opposite? If so, perhaps it’s time for a cleanse.
Observe the Thinker
Question all of your decision-making processes – is this something that i feel i should, could, or want to do? Are you delving in a task or project as a matter of obligation, out of habit, or in order to achieve a desired result? Or is it something that that are genuinely passionate about, or interested in. Learn to quieten your mind, and feel the answer, as oppose to thinking it. If you allow yourself to listen, your body will respond in a way in which will provide you with the guidance that you seek.
Find Structure & Balance
Structure, routine, and goals are great – but balance is key. We’re all aware that we require both, however knowing doesn’t necessarily always equate to practicing, and how this is put into practice will vary for everyone. Personally, I like to have a wake-up routine (musts: meditation, yoga & journalling, and optionals: breath-work, stretching, and a self-oil-massage). I also like to have a bedtime routine, but the mid-section of my day can be quite flexible. Balance is key – this also applies to rest, rest cannot be forced – again, listen to your body: some days you will be more ‘wired’ and energetic, you will want to be proactive, or engage in more ‘doing’. If that’s the case, then go with it – these are the days that you’ll get the most from that energy.
Schedule in a Silent Day
If this is something that is available to you, I recommend that you schedule this in regularly: weekly, fortnightly, or at least monthly. Retreat either to a room of your choice, or your home (if living alone), and disconnect from everything, and everyone for a day. Turn off your phone, disconnect from the external world, and spend the day however you feel inclined to (baking, reading, bathing, napping, singing and dancing, whatever tickles your fancy), listen to your body, trust and allow your intuition to guide you.
Over time, spending more time in your own space, will result in it becoming easier to differentiate between what is true to you – your own beliefs and desires, versus what is conditioning, regression, and/ or external influences. You may not come back refreshed or relaxed, but you will be a more authentic version of you, and you may find that having taken some time out, life’s less appealing tasks don’t feel so mundane anymore, you may even begin to look forward to them.
Our external worlds won’t begin to feel any more fulfilling, until we learn to use our internal compasses to help guide us through.
Until next time,
A